Crazed Rant

My internet keeps cutting out.As you can imagine, the first night this happened to me it wasn’t a very pretty sight, or I suppose I wasn’t the very pretty sight (though I assure you that normally I am exceedingly pretty). It was about some stupid thing called a ‘DNS Configuration’ and when it wasn’t that it was the ‘key ports’ not doing what they were supposed to. And all this meant that the INTERNET WAS GONE. There was NO FACEBOOK. Let me repeat that for you in case you didn’t catch its significance the first time:

NO.

FACEBOOK.

How was I going to avoid assignments now? How would I get random updates about people who I ordinarily do not give a shit about’s lives? And more importantly what if that hottie from the lecture who I still haven’t had the guts to speak to, was attempting to friend request me RIGHT THAT VERY MOMENT and I wasn’t there to accept and subsequently Facebook chat- them up? And I couldn’t complain about it because I couldn’t access my blog.Suddenly I had all this TIME readings were being done (2 weeks in advance) assignments due in week 14 were being polished off...and it had only been 2hrs without online access.Just imagine what I could do if I never had access to teh interwebz again! I could cure cancer, end world poverty, create peace on earth...or watch the Buffy box set again. Oh the possibilities! Children will clean their rooms, chores will be done and parents will float around homes, living in the kind of domestic bliss only observed back when they only had TV and radio to spread the word of the devil. But hey, with Rudd’s new internet censorship laws this might end up being the case anyway, I mean if your local dentist has been blacklisted as a paedophile, YOU won’t be going out and doing something horribly impure like getting your teeth whitened now will you? Clearly K-Rudd was having similar difficulties with his internet, and when he discovered how productive he could be if he got off that MySpace page of his (G 20 summit, solving a financial crisis) he figured we should al have this same fantastic opportunity. Which is also why he’s promised us super-fast broadband for the future, so sure you won’t be able to do much on the internet but at least you know that you’ll be able to do a whole lot of nothing at lightning speed rates, and isn’t that what matters?